Funny opening lines for business presentations

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Funny opening lines for business presentations

The page contains a list funny, humorous, clever, or inspiring anecdotes. They are short stories used to improve speeches, remarks, essays, toasts and articles. They are great for speakers and writers to use in conclusions, introductions or to prove a point.

These funny jokes could be used for speeches or writings about religion, Christianity, Judaism, sexuality, gender, war of the sexes, differences between men and women, Adam and Eve and more. If instead, you're interested in deep and thought stimulating anectodes, check Profound Anecdotes.

The Russian military analysts spent day-in, day-out analyzing the photos. One day, some of the Russian analysts noticed an intriguing trend while watching the Pentagon. The Pentagon is shaped like a five-sided donut, with a courtyard in the middle.

In the center of that courtyard was a building that seemed of extreme importance. All day long, from early morning until late in the evening, military officers from all the services, of all ranks and specialties, would exit the Pentagon and hurry straight to the building at the center of the courtyard.

The officers would approach the buildings, speak with someone inside, quickly hand them something and hurry away, carrying some sort of small items.

5 Killer Ways to Open Up Your Next Presentation. It’s crucial to understand the importance of grasping an audience’s attention in the first moments of a talk. Your opening lines set the tone for your overall performance, so a great opener will prepare and intrigue the audience and ensure that your message is effectively received. Funny first date experiences. Top 5 bad business slogans. What I like to invent for mankind. How to pretend to be a good international exchange student. What to write in a message in a bottle if you’re trapped on an island. Things to do in a traffic jam. Kids should get more pocket money. Factor in the "rule of threes" which says that, if you haven't delivered your punchline by the third line of your joke, it's too long. Be careful about launching into a long humorous story. Audiences are quick to forgive a single line that isn't funny, but they may not have much patience for a long anecdote.

Intelligence analysts examined the photos closely. What sort of highly-valuable information was being exchanged in this top secret nerve center at the very center of the Pentagon?

It must be extremely important because service members of every rank flocked to it day after day. Believing it was a Top Secret vault of confidential information, the Soviet Union considered it a top priority to figure out what was being hidden there but they were never able to discover the secret.

Today, we can finally reveal the actual purpose of this important facility at the center of the Pentagon. It was a hot dog stand. One evening, his chauffeur was driving him to another speaking event and Einstein complained that he was tired of the speaking engagements.

His chauffeur happened to look very similar to Einstein and suggested that since he had heard Einstein making his speech so many times, he could deliver the speech instead and Einstein could relax. Thinking it was a great idea and eager to see if the chauffeur could pull off the lark, Einstein agreed.

At dinner, the chauffeur gave a nearly perfect rendition of the speech while Einstein sat in the back of the room.

The chauffeur even managed to answer some basic questions that Einstein frequently received. Finally, a man with an arrogant and belittling manner asked a question, inserting his own ideas and opinions into the question so the audience would be impressed that he knew so much.

The chauffeur waited until the pompous man has finished his speech and said, "The answer to that question is so simple, that I will allow my chauffeur who is sitting in the back, to answer it for me.

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New Name, Same Awesome Team This is the third and final part of a three-part series featuring eight great ways to open a speech.

A botany student noticed his intense interest in the plant, his scholarly appearance and his studious manner and assumed he must be a specialist. The student approached him and breathlessly asked, "Who are you? They sat together and brainstormed. He eats only rice and vegetables.

He wears only his robes.

Speech Opening - Make it Powerful!

He reads only the sacred texts and he is already content with just these things. Whatever could we get him?

He wants for nothing! Sometimes such optimism leads you to see the world as you wish it were as opposed to how it really is. At a certain point in his presidency, dad decided he was going to revive the thumbs-up gesture.

So he went all over the country, of course, giving everybody the thumbs up. Dory and I found ourselves in the Presidential Limousine one day returning from some big event. My mother was there and dad was of course, thumbs upping the crowd along the way, and suddenly, looming in the window on his side of the car was this snarling face.

funny opening lines for business presentations

This fellow was reviving an entirely different hand gesture. And hoisted an entirely different digit in our direction. Dad saw this and without missing a beat turned to us and said, "You see? I think it's catching on.

Winston Churchill was known for his occasional habit of drinking excessively. One night at a party, he shocked a rather prominent woman with his drunken outbursts.

Insulted, she turned to him and said, "Mr Churchill, you are as drunk as a dog.The opening minutes of a presentation are often the most important.

According to Allan and Barbara Pease, authors of The Definitive Book of Body Language, the audience forms 60 – 80 percent of its impression of a speaker within the first four minutes. Factor in the "rule of threes" which says that, if you haven't delivered your punchline by the third line of your joke, it's too long.

funny opening lines for business presentations

Be careful about launching into a long humorous story. Audiences are quick to forgive a single line that isn't funny, but they may not have much patience for a long anecdote.

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This is true even if a first impression is a presentation. 21 Brilliant Presentation Quotes To Start Your Speech. 21 Earth-Shaking Quotes To Start A Presentation from Ethos3 | Presentation Design and Training.

1. The common question that gets asked in business is, ‘why?’ That’s a good question, but an equally valid question is, ‘why.

BBC Learning English | Talking business | Presentations: Opening

Create Stunning Title Slide For Your Presentation. That is the kind of difference a good opening slide can make to your presentation.

A title slide creates the first impression on your audience’s mind. It is worth your time to practice the skill to create a lasting impression on your audience during your business presentations.

5 Killer Ways to Open Up Your Next Presentation. It’s crucial to understand the importance of grasping an audience’s attention in the first moments of a talk. Your opening lines set the tone for your overall performance, so a great opener will prepare and intrigue the audience and ensure that your message is effectively received.

Whether your company's presentations are to sell, inform, persuade, or inspire, you'd better understand how to organize a presentation with your stakeholders in mind.

Naturally, you need a strong message.

Open Your Speech with Style | Get the Edge Executive Coaching